The Worst Nightmare

Today I went to help D. with her UCAS application. I basically completely rewritten her entire personal statement. Oh, how I hate these things! Writing crap about yourself which someone barely reads and it's just a formality.

AB is not feeling very good. She has her birthday bash on the 28th - and she had to postpone it because her grandmother is in a hospital. She feels guilty, because she's not back home with her family, so I tried to comfort her. What could she do anyway? My high school friend, K., who lives in London too recently posted that he's going on an emergency trip back home - his grandfather ended up in a hospital. Just when I read that he came back to London for 3 days, he updated his status with RIP and that he's going back on the same day.

On a more positive note, on Tuesday I'm going to Kent to visit AW. She is huge and can't move, so we're not meeting in London. Besides, I'm happy, because it's going to be good for me - going away from this shit-hole - even if for a couple of hours.

I also had The Most Horrible Nightmare EVER. Until this day I always thought that dreaming about my mother in her wedding dress in a coffin when I was circa 13 was the worst thing. This night changed it all. I have never felt my heart beating so fast when I woke-up. Even after running. I don't want to think about it, but it comes like a punch to a face when I close my eyes. I still have a major trouble sleeping. I wake up around 3-4am and I am restless until 5-6am. I just can't go back to sleep. I'm even thinking about drinking this drug I got from my aunt - she gave it to me to calm my nerves. I don't know how long I'll stand it.

Mother's dreams vs reality

Mother had a dream last week. Very weird, but I don't question her dreams - they're usually so extraordinary that I consider her psychic. She has a lot of dreams about people who she knew and they died. And the same person appears in the dreams until she goes to church and lights up a candle in their memory. She had a fantastic friend during university, who died in some tragic accident. Even though Mother dreamt about her a couple times, this friend still wasn't letting go until she actually prayed for her soul! Mother dreamt about her parents being happy, shortly after they died. I never had any dreams about Grandparents. I only remember once when I was 13 or 14 I had a dream that Mother was in a coffin, dead and wearing her wedding dress. I woke up in tears and rushed downstairs crying so she could comfort me. 

Mother's dreamt last week that I was driving the tractor. I was driving it very, very slowly, so slowly that Mother finally got impatient and got out of the tractor-trailer behind. I was looking really happy didn't pay notice to anything Mother was saying. But this dream is a good sign. I firmly believe so. I've even checked it in the Dream-Book, even though I never do such a thing, and it turns out that the meaning is that slowly, my life will become stable! I truly hope it must be true! 

I am still looking for work, recently there were no call-backs. But today, just before I went to the Tanning Shop (I simply have to change my blueish/greyish skin, because it doesn't scream healthy!) I got a call from agent who will forward my CV and later, in the bookstore I almost got a heart attack when I listened to my voice mail. Next Monday I have an interview in an amazing place. One or two years working there will get me any position I'd want in the industry I want to work! So this week all my plans for Spanish and French language certificates are put aside and I concentrate on studying. I don't want to put my hopes up, but I AM excited. I'll be at least notices and even if I won't land this position, maybe they'll offer me something else now or in the future?