Thursday, 13 January 2011

The Worst Nightmare

Today I went to help D. with her UCAS application. I basically completely rewritten her entire personal statement. Oh, how I hate these things! Writing crap about yourself which someone barely reads and it's just a formality.

AB is not feeling very good. She has her birthday bash on the 28th - and she had to postpone it because her grandmother is in a hospital. She feels guilty, because she's not back home with her family, so I tried to comfort her. What could she do anyway? My high school friend, K., who lives in London too recently posted that he's going on an emergency trip back home - his grandfather ended up in a hospital. Just when I read that he came back to London for 3 days, he updated his status with RIP and that he's going back on the same day.

On a more positive note, on Tuesday I'm going to Kent to visit AW. She is huge and can't move, so we're not meeting in London. Besides, I'm happy, because it's going to be good for me - going away from this shit-hole - even if for a couple of hours.

I also had The Most Horrible Nightmare EVER. Until this day I always thought that dreaming about my mother in her wedding dress in a coffin when I was circa 13 was the worst thing. This night changed it all. I have never felt my heart beating so fast when I woke-up. Even after running. I don't want to think about it, but it comes like a punch to a face when I close my eyes. I still have a major trouble sleeping. I wake up around 3-4am and I am restless until 5-6am. I just can't go back to sleep. I'm even thinking about drinking this drug I got from my aunt - she gave it to me to calm my nerves. I don't know how long I'll stand it.

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