Friday, 11 February 2011

Mostly down

At least today I've actually done something. Some cleaning, laundry and ironing. Nothing much, but at least something. I am so fed up with myself and the whole situation. I am intelligent, smart, and yet for the past 6 months I haven't found a job, nothing. I just don't know what to do and whole the time I have a feeling like I've wasted my life and I've already lost on this lottery called life - even though it didn't truly begin. All the time I think that I've made wrong choices with my studies and the fact that I cannot turn back time is making me even more miserable. I know that I shouldn't cry over something what has already happened and I can't change the past, but I simply can't help myself.

On top of that, we've received a suspicious letter. I don't even want to open it. I am certain that it's some unpaid debt - for electricity or water - from the last flat. This makes me sick. That I can't do anything and that we are in these situations over and over again. I'm not even happy that tomorrow is weekend...

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