Why when we really, really want something it is so hard to get?! Honestly, God knows I've paid my dues. And now I have to be patient and wait? I don't know how long I can do that. It is so hard knowing everyone around you thinks about it when they are talking to you, you think about it every minute of every day. And each morning I wake up with a delusional hope that today something may change. I have no idea what else I can do. I have no strength to do all this anymore. Somehow I have to live and function. With this HUGE elephant in a room.