I still didn't decide what to do which equals that I'm going to stay with Boyfriend in London for Christmas. I don't want to say another what would be if I had a work, but the truth is that I wouldn't even think twice then and just booked a ticket - £190 would be a fair price. Not like it is right now. I feel double-guilty, because every time I talk to Mother on Skype I can see how sad she feels.
What can I do?! I can only promise myself that it is the last time. I want to believe that it is the last time. I need to gather my strength and attack New Year with power. I need projects, I need commitment from myself, I need to actually do something - even when I'm still not working.
Today was the last day at the WE office this year. I'm coming back in the second week of January. It's not a rewarding job, it's completely remote from what I want to do, but at least it's something. At least I've got this something to put on my CV. And I'm grateful for that.
I talked to AM a little bit today. I'm depressed that I don't have work and she's depressed that she has work in her home country. She just doesn't fit there and can't get used to that place. I'm so sorry for her. She deserves so much better!