Reflections

We're both ill. I am slightly less, so I'm making all the teas, I cleaned and even done laundry and ironing. Boyfriend had really high fever in the morning, so he decided to stay at home and take a day off. He's feeling much better (so better he can actually play on his mobile on surf on the Internet), but he'll probably stay at home tomorrow. It is easy to figure out that I'm going to be sick for longer - the normal pattern is that I'm infecting him and vice versa. 

I started reading yesterday one of the books I got from Santa: "One Moment, One Morning" by Sarah Rayner. I wasn't expecting nothing like this. I know that you should never judge a book by its cover (with reference to people too) - I've made this mistake several times and got acquainted with the Tolkien's Hobbit much later as a result - but I was expecting a chick-lit. It is nothing like that. It's about death, loss, sorrow and friendship. 

It is hard for me to read - I start to recall my first encounter with death - when my first granddad died. I was still in primary school and couldn't really understand it. I didn't want to go to the actual funeral, but it was out of the question - my parents were so upset I didn't even  ask if I can stay. Right now I feel that it's good that I went, but that's probably only because I understand it better (if you can ever understand death). I still remember how I prayed to God for granddad to live and go swimming in the summer. Obviously it didn't happen and I just felt overwhelming feeling of betrayal when my dad called and told me that granddad is dead. I guess right then and there I just got angry and stopped believing in some things.